What I feel uncomfortable about Theology

As I have stated in my previous post, recently my thirst in God's Word was somewhat rekindled by... the Holy Spirit, I 'd presumed. I literally craved for spending time in His Word and as a consequence, I dived in websites on apologetics and theology. For quite sometime, I felt totally satisfied by the amazing beauty of sound logic and clear mind, so much so that I am seriously taking theology studies into consideration for my future career. Since I have been so far quite well trained to be in the academic world, why not get the best out of it for the Lord?

But there is a hidden unsettling feeling I feel along the way as my theological interest runs wild, something which is hardly definable and thus elusive. Then generally, this feeling started to emerge in a clearer form, which is within the world of theology, or apologetics, I will have to continuously dealing with the fear that I might somewhat be on the wrong side. For example, the reformed theology, to which I found deep interest and respect, holds the idea of predetermination, which rules out the possibility of free will. PREDESTINATION V.S.

FREE WILL is said to be the largest and most basic contradiction between Catholic orthodoxy a

nd the Protestant church. There are many articles aiming to clear out on this issues on the web and I admit with all sincerity that it requires a comprehensive and in-depth study in order to get the picture, I still can't see why people are not willing to admit that they could very possibly on the wrong.

I think what Christianity brings to this world is Love in its purest and highest form. Jesus did not come to the earth just to enlighten us with wisdom like Buddha or other sages did. He came to show us the way: Love God and Love others. And Jesus' love penetrates through the centuries because He deals with one's life instead just one's head and mind. Of course it's a noble thing to use our ration and our mind to defend our faith, but by defending it does not necessarily means that we are always to be prepared to label people who are different with us on parts of the doctrines ( note that not all the doctrine ) as "heresies". Of course there are destructive heresies that are to be aware of, for example, those who are designed to deny the divinity of Jesus. But is it really matter whether a person care much about how much percentage of his free will functions in his own salvation against the dominant factor of God's Mercy? God's Mercy and Grace are surely of utmost importance to a person's salvation because He and He alone provides it as a base on which all the other things can stand. And God's omnipotence and omnipresence suggest that He is the Being transcend space and time yet can still penetrate space and time. He is the Being that wrap us all up. God is a Spirit, a Spirit of Love. So because He is at once in and out of time, of course He can know who will and will not choose to worship Him before this person even came to being. But from human being's point of view, which is of creatures confined by space and time, it does not necessarily means predestination. It is predestination from God's point of view, but it is not from our point of view. Because we can only understand who we are and what God has offered us right at this moment, the present. So I guess that's why Jesus says about "My sheep hear my voice" and "without me you can do nothing", yet He also demands us to go spread the gospels. Because human beings need to hear the gospel. They need to make their own choice and thus be held accountable by the choices he made. Of course without God's Grace nobody will out of his own nature of depravity will God's will, but there are those selected who will ( again, in God's dimension it is so). And I simply see no basic contradiction upon these two theological idea: Free will for man in his historical being and Predetermination for God in His Dimension. Just one thing being viewed in different way.

Our great church father, in all their piety and God-given wisdom, left us with treasures of all time and we are forever indebted to them. That's why I also think the total indifference or ignorance towards orthodoxy thoughts which is quite rampant within the evangelical society needs to be brought to a halt. Traditional thought will certainly bring life to nowadays Christian faith if used in a proper way. But as I've said before, sometimes a more balanced view can be taken, or an integrated thought can be molded through this infusion of traditional thoughts.

And one important thing is this, why do we always need to be in the right? Why can't we be in the wrong? Actually we should always find ourselves in the wrongs cuz only God has the perfect knowledge about this world, about Himself and of course, about the perfect way of interpreting His own Words. Of course we as Christians should be confident when addressing the world, because we do know the truth; but when it comes to idea about how to understand the Bible, as long as we all serve the same Lord Jesus, why can't we just act more like members of the body? We could be right about certain things, but we can't be right about everything. And besides, what's so wrong about being in the wrong? We are just human beings, fighting to understand the Holy Words under the influence of our present condition. Of course there are going to be wrong understandings. But as long as we have a clear heart and always seeking and asking for the Truth, I think the Lord will forgive and help us.

There are two bible chapters I'd like to share as a conclusion to today's blogging:

Anyone Not Against Us Is for Us

38 John said to him, “Teacher, we saw someone casting out demons in your name, and we tried to stop him, because he was not following us.” 39 But Jesus said, “Do not stop him, for no one who does a mighty work in my name will be able soon afterward to speak evil of me. 40 For the one who is not against us is for us. 41 For truly, I say to you, whoever gives you a cup of water to drink because you belong to Christ will by no means lose his reward.

Mark 9:38-41 (ESV)

The Way of Love

1 If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. 3 If I give away all I have, and if I deliver up my body to be burned, but have not love, I gain nothing. 4 Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant 5 or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; 6 it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. 7 Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. 8 Love never ends. As for prophecies, they will pass away; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will pass away. 9 For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10 but when the perfect comes, the partial will pass away. 11 When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I gave up childish ways. 12 For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I have been fully known. 13 So now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love.

1 Cor 13:1-13 (ESV)